That's exactly what I did on Saturday. I hit the wall of my limits. The girls were far from cooperative, wouldn't nap, hopped up on some kind of sassiness from the depths of hell that I hope to never live through again. ( I snicker just thinking I'm sure this is a rude preview of the teenage years to come) Sigh. I did what any mature mother who is in control and "follows all the parenting rules" does- I locked myself in my room! :/ I over heard the girls saying things like "oh boy, this isn't going to be good"- Kay and "I think she is getting new socks on"- Ash. Oh and my favorite "I think her head fell off and she has to glue it back on"-Ash.
Besides them bantering about what was happening behind my locked door, they settled themselves into playing in their room. Miraculously, they didn't completely destroy it. When I emerged from the serenity of my room (and stopped crying long enough to not look like a red faced beast) I went down stairs and started cleaning. Then I heard them creep down the hallway whispering...they stood at the top of the stairs and I calmly told them that I wasn't going to tolerate the behavior they were showing and that we would be cleaning the rest of the day instead of going to the movies. Needless to say, the house was spic and span by the time they went to bed at 6 pm and I was able to enjoy a great movie and evening by myself.
Sunday morning at church they asked the elders and others to come to the front and pray for anyone who needed prayer. I was sitting with my fantastic friend Gretchen and she must have known I was in desperate need of prayer. She more or less dragged me to the front and said, we are going to find someone up here to pray for you girl. Love her. She knew exactly what I needed. A very wise and gentle woman prayed for me and she said something that will stick with me. She prayed that God would help me to "just get through the next step. One step at a time." Amen! I often find myself trying to take control of every situation at hand. When I just let go and let God handle my needs my life is full of so much joy and contentment. Knowing this, why do I keep trying to so this on my own??? I'm definitely the type who liked to have a check off a list, have it in writing and an email confirmation... assurance. But as this journey has had its up and downs (Saturday!!!) I've found the assurance I've once tried to create myself is much easier to attain through God's promise to hear our prayers and know the desires of our hearts. Praise the Lord I don't have to do this on my own!!!! That would just be a hot mess- I'll tell you- One. Hot. Mess.
Thankfully Greg is coming home at the end of this week. I'm so ready for some reinforcements. The girls are ready to see their daddy. It'll be a very busy visit. People to catch up with, birthday celebration and he is looking forward to connecting with the students who have become a huge part of our lives as well.
Side note- Appraisal had no obstacles! Woo hoo! Now we sit and wait for about 5 1/2 weeks for our closing. Oh, and if you get the chance check out this song "Awake" by Before Morning. Ridiculously AWESOME!!!!! Here's a link to it : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8xTITvcrQ4
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